10 months ago, I could never have foreseen the place I am now in. A year in Public School had left me drained, sad and disillusioned about children and teaching. My plans to teach English around the world had been squashed by a bad experience involving a controlling psycho co-teacher and a mass of unruly children. This year, I have been teaching at a private school and have learnt more than I anticipated. My depth of patience and acceptance has grown. Each student is vastly unique in strengths and abilities which I witness and mould. I wait and watch and learn how to handle each child’s personality and sensitivity, know when to push or surrender; when to laugh, and give up and accept that some times, the students just are not going to co-operate, they don’t feel like paying attention, retaining the language, nor stopping their chatting. And with that comes and immense sense of love for the students, how can you not love that which you accept and nourish everyday?
I am their TEACHER, a leader, a role model, someone they look up to, someone they don’t like everyday, but I am someone they see who influences how they learn to interact and view themselves. I don’t know if I have ever had as much responsibility as that before. These precious people are in my care. Too often I have looked back on my own teachers of school past, and felt disdain and unhappiness for cruel words or unfair treatment, the mind of a child is so susceptible, so fragile. And so in loving them, I feel a deeper and greater love for myself, understanding my own faults as a child with more clarity, beholding myself as a child, able to see where my parents went wrong, how their harsh words bruised me, how I noticed the same anger rising in me as would my dad, and being able to see it, be aware of it, and to stop and replace it with a kindness and love I wished I had had bestowed on me. So children, with utmost gratitude and appreciation I say thank you, and I love you, you imperfect little beings, you have taught me more than I could ever have asked for. Bless your buddha hearts.