I created this blog for 3 reasons. Firstly, to document my adventures and misadventures in Seoul by means of a visual/script based diary. Secondly, to document my thoughts and feelings I am too often afraid to voice or admit. This is a process by which I become ‘naked’, less ego-filled and hope to learn to take myself less seriously.
For starters, I am a complete contradiction of myself. I am either at war within or am in a space of complete acceptance and flow with the world. In these moments I embrace it all freely; in the former, I simply argue with myself, wanting to be something other than I really am which just creates contention, and thus, at odds by the conflict within which just creates more strife. I get mad at myself for feeling useless emotions like jealousy or petty anger. I feel confused about this world we live in – raw, devastating, horrifying as well as beautiful, hopeful and offering ineffable joy. I don’t know how to make peace with it all sometimes. I am currently conflicted about being in Korea. On one hand, the fun of exploring and wandering, the joy of being so utterly anonymous and lawless, getting away with so much and claiming ignorance as a foreigner. On the other, I am missing home and the people I love and love to share my life with, which to me, is one of the most important things in the world. And even though I have so much here I am grateful for, this emotion is strong, and I can’t put it down.
My third and final reason, as I have embarked on a mission to find creative freedom which began some time ago, with the help of Julia Cameron’s ‘The Artists Way’ and having the space to recommence, as well as a promise to be more true to myself and who this ego “I” is, well, this blog is here to document that. So this is the journey.